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I learned to make myself feel good, so I wasn't emotionally needy and dependent. So, I know, from both education and experience, that it works. If you want a good relationship, then become a valuable person.I learned to trade and exchange with a partner as equals, for the things that actually met my real physical and psychological needs. If you can't trade them in for reciprocity and effort from a partner at a later date, then you've simply been shined on, conned, and validated. I don't expect everyone to understand or agree with this perspective. It certainly won't appear politically correct, new-age loving, or kind to myself. Learn to set boundaries, negotiate, and make others trade fairly with you to meet both your needs.Nevertheless, I labored under this entitlement fantasy for much of my early years. Instead, I tried to figure out what elicited loving feelings in others, what features and value made someone attractive, and worked to get those features too.Frankly, it was easier than doing the work to change myself back then. Yes, I still struggle with my weight, but I maintain it as best I can.Fortunately, my life path and education allowed me to see them and fix them.That's why I'm now trying to bring my insight to others.
So, I learned to trade value for value..for emotional validation. I also have the type of relationship that many say are impossible in this country and time.Nevertheless, my relationship outcomes are VERY different now than others. I also don't hold hatred or frustration for the opposite sex.Nor am I perplexed by any self-serving tendencies in myself or others.I hope, by reviewing the lessons I have learned, that others can escape being bitter, frustrated, and hateful too - and actually have the relationships they desire. So, why should I expect the high value girls to "love me as I was"?Therefore, here are some of the lessons I learned for having a successful love life. What right did I have to get mad, indignant, and entitled when others didn't find me appealing?