My boyfriend still goes on dating sites
There is another general rule in making a wrenching decision. That is, whichever course is more reversible might be considered first. Loneliness and anxiety, among other troubles, are almost universally difficult for partners of alcoholics. This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 2nd, 2008 at pm and is filed under Addiction, Couples-Marriage, Transition.
In your case, it is much easier to recover from the mistake of waiting a bit more, than to recover after discovering that divorce was a mistake. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed.
While most people believe love leads to giving, the truth (as Rabbi Eliyahu Dessler writes in his famous discourse on loving kindness) is exactly the opposite: Giving leads to love. When an enthusiastic handyman happily announces to his non- mechanically inclined wife, "Honey, wait till you see what I got you for your birthday ― a triple-decker toolbox! Neither is a father's forcing violin lessons on his son because he himself always dreamed of being a virtuoso.
True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements.
" "We're choosing to love him," her mother explained, "because love is a choice." There's no better wisdom Susan's mother could have imparted to her before marriage.
"Mom," she said hesitantly, "I really appreciate your feelings, but, in all honesty, how can you say you love someone you've never met?
It’s something like finding yourself holding a hot panhandle and gripping all the more tightly the more it burns. I also encourage you to respond to other postings with a few words of appreciation, support and ideas. There are many more readers of this dialogue than there are responders – you have an interested group here and we want to know what happens. Try viewing your dilemma as four-pronged: Choice 1 would be that you decide to leave your wife and that you do so in the most careful, strategic manner, doing the most that you can to ensure this unfolds as becoming the right choice.
Love is that feeling you get when you meet the right person." Every hand went up. Judaism actually idealizes this universal, unconditional love.
Now that you're feeling so warmly toward the entire human race, how can you deepen your love for someone?
The way God created us, actions affect our feelings most.
But, I also notice that many describe their own addiction of sorts – to the partner.
A love and attachment you cannot shake, despite the consequences. My first suggestion would be to treat with skepticism any advice to take choice 1 over choice 2. And only you will know just how much sadness and anxiety is going to be inherent with either option.