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Civilities is a new column in The Washington Post covering LGBT and straight etiquette.Dear Civilities: My 19-year-old son (I’ll call him “Tim”) just came out to me.My husband, Tim’s father, died three years ago, and I think Tim is looking for a father figure. What could a 40-year-old man have in common with a teenager? Should I keep quiet and pray it ends soon or speak up?Tim starts college this fall, and I am hoping he’ll find a more appropriate boyfriend there. — Name withheld I completely understand your angst about this — who would want her son in the arms of a “predator”?I don’t know whether he’ll turn out to be a catch or a cad, but at least he’ll know the kind of mama bear he’s dealing with. E-mail questions to Steven at [email protected](unfortunately not all questions can be answered).You can also reach Steven on Facebook at and on Twitter @stevenpetrow. Many agreed with you and found your son’s relationship objectionable.

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So, without any further delay, read on and lets ease some of your anxiety.Have a talk with Tim, adult to adult (and he is an adult, even if he’s still your baby).If you approach it like a mama bear trying to save her cub, you risk pushing him further into his boyfriend’s arms.Use this new situation as a way to deepen your relationship with your son.In that vein, why not invite the couple over and get to know Justin yourself? Every other week, Steven Petrow, the author of “Steven Petrow’s Complete Gay & Lesbian Manners,” addresses questions about LGBT and straight etiquette in his new column, Civilities.

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