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And you also say: When he does what I like, I tell him how much I like it. So first off, you want him to do “the little things” because they make you feel amazing when he does them. They feel amazing because he’s the type of man that has more going for himself than just trying to please you constantly.His attention is valuable because he doesn’t just give it away freely and carelessly. People tend to put value on that which is rare and that which they have to work for- not just in relationships but in all aspects of life.If a friend treats me badly, I don’t have a huge temper tantrum or try to guilt them, I just assume they are not a good fit and I move on.So with me, I expect every love relationship to be built on a foundation of friendship first.I will treat him to a nice date, though, just like I expect him to treat me to nice dates. I have friends, I have a church and my relationship with God, I have a family and pets…So I don’t need a boyfriend, but I like having one. Maybe your expectation for him is too high, maybe he is the type who will never remember special dates and maybe you need to ask yourself if he adds enough other stuff to your life to make that OK?And if I want to go to, say, an art reception, and my guy doesn’t – no problems, I ask a friend and I go with my friend. I have a life, it’s a good life, and he is there to add to my life, not to replace it.
Second, I respect myself – I don’t cancel stuff with friends just because he wants to see me.This should be a relief to you since it means that you could have a tremendous positive impact on your relationship just with one night of making your guy feel amazing instead of spending countless hours doing “little things”.Here’s the problem: In the same way that women will do “little things” for guys and then be confused and frustrated when the guy isn’t smitten by all the little things she’s done for him (in the way a woman would be), guys think that one grand gesture will make up for months of neglecting “little things”. I’ve had plenty of times where I’ve let work and life in general consume all my time and attention and neglect my relationship.I talk to him and I tell him how I feel and in person he’s so mean about it and blames all of our problems on me, but over text I tell him my feelings and what not and he’s like “i know it’s all my fault” “I’m sorry”, etc.I just don’t understand why he agrees over text but not in person, he’s literally so mean to me in person when I tell him my feelings, he blames it all on me. There was nothing special done for any of those days.